🌿 Type One vs Type Two
TL;DR: What’s the Core Difference?
Type One is driven by doing what’s right, guided by principles, integrity, and an inner critic that never takes a day off.
Type Two is driven by feeling needed and loved, guided by relationships, emotional connection, and a deep desire to be of service.
✍️ In-Depth Comparison
Ones and Twos both care deeply about doing good and supporting others, which can make them look similar on the outside. They’re both responsible, reliable, and quick to jump in when something needs fixing — whether it’s a broken system or a hurting person.
But where they differ is in what’s fueling that drive.
Ones help because they believe it’s the right thing to do. Their motivation is rooted in internal ethics — a sense of moral obligation and a desire to improve the world (and themselves) according to high personal standards. Their focus is more universal, sometimes impersonal — think, “What’s the right course of action here?”
Twos, on the other hand, are motivated by connection. They help because they want to feel close to others, to be seen as valuable, and to create emotional bonds. Their actions are fueled by a longing to be appreciated and loved — think, “How can I show this person that I care about them?”
So while both types might offer to bring you soup when you’re sick, the One is doing it because it's the right and kind thing to do, and the Two is doing it because they want to feel close to you and be part of your inner circle.
This distinction can show up in conflict too. Ones tend to prioritize justice, fairness, and getting things right, even if it creates tension. Twos are more likely to avoid conflict if it threatens the relationship or makes them feel unwanted. And while Ones often repress their emotional needs (because there’s work to be done), Twos often repress their own needs for the sake of others.
If you’re stuck between these two types, ask yourself:
Is your drive to help coming from a place of duty or a place of connection?
Are you trying to make things better, or trying to make someone feel loved?
✅ Quick Spot-the-Difference Table
Question to Ask Yourself📌 Type One📌 Type TwoWhy do I help others?“It’s the right thing to do.”“I want to be close and feel needed.”What drives me most?A desire to do the right thingA desire to be loved and appreciatedWhat’s my conflict style?Corrective, moral, focused on what’s wrongPeople-pleasing, warm, focused on connectionWhat do I fear most underneath it?Being wrong, bad, or corruptBeing unloved or unwanted
🌱 Reflect & Explore
Do you feel more discomfort when someone thinks you’re wrong, or when someone pulls away from you emotionally?
Are you more likely to get frustrated when people don’t meet your standards, or when they don’t seem to need you?
Does it feel harder to express your own needs (Two) or to relax your standards and just be (One)?