The Anniversary Effect: When Trauma Echoes Through Time
The Anniversary Effect
Have you ever noticed yourself feeling off around a certain time of year, maybe sad, restless, irritable, or even physically drained, only to realize it’s the same season when something hard or painful once happened?
That’s not random. It’s something called the anniversary effect, and it’s more common than most people realize.
I refer to this with clients often. If someone comes in saying they’re feeling out of sorts but can’t put their finger on why, I’ll gently ask, “Did something troubling, stressful, or traumatic happen around this time of year in your past?” It’s not always the reason, but more often than not it is. And oftentimes, I can clock it for the client if we have been seeing each other long enough!
Why the Holidays Can Make It Worse
With the holidays coming up, the anniversary effect can be especially vivid. Everyone else seems excited, decorating trees, baking cookies, playing holiday music, meanwhile you may quietly dread the season. It’s not just holiday stress; for many people, the holidays are filled with sensory and emotional cues that can bring old pain back to the surface.
If a traumatic event happened in December, you might associate twinkling lights or certain songs with that event. And honestly, even if your loss happened at another time of year, the contrast between “merry and bright” expectations and your inner experience can make it feel sharper. Like remembering your first holiday season without a special person in your life anymore.
What Is the Anniversary Effect?
The anniversary effect (sometimes called the “anniversary reaction”) describes the way our minds and bodies can respond around the anniversary of a traumatic event, loss, or significant life stressor.
Even if you aren’t consciously thinking about the event, your nervous system keeps time in its own way. A great book on this topic that I recommend to clients is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It speaks to how stress and trauma leave an imprint on our bodies, meaning that when the date or season rolls around, you may feel the echoes of what you went through.
How It Shows Up
The anniversary effect can look different for each person, but here are some common signs:
Emotional: sudden waves of sadness, irritability, anxiety, or numbness.
Physical: fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, sleep changes.
Behavioral: withdrawing from people, feeling restless or distracted, or being short-tempered.
The tricky part? It often feels like it’s “coming out of nowhere.”
Why the Body Remembers
Trauma isn’t just stored as a story in your mind; it’s also stored in your nervous system. Smells, sounds, weather changes, or even holiday traditions can act as cues. Sometimes your body remembers before your brain makes the connection.
That’s why I often ask clients: “Is there any significance to this time of year for you?” More often than not, there is.
What You Can Do About It
Awareness is the first step. When you can name what’s happening, it feels a little less like you’re losing your footing. Here are some ways to cope, especially around the holidays:
Name it. Simply saying, “Oh, this is the anniversary effect” can bring relief. Often, just noticing and acknowledging it softens the intensity.
Lower the holiday bar. Give yourself permission to simplify traditions, skip events, or say no. “Good enough” is enough.
Use grounding tools. Try bilateral stimulation, journaling, breathing exercises, or going outside barefoot to reset. Build in breaks from overstimulating environments. (for more grounding and coping skills read here)
Create intentional rituals. Light a candle, write a letter, visit a meaningful place, or start a new tradition to honor your healing rather than avoiding it or trying to “muscle through”.
Reframe the season. Instead of “I must feel joyful,” try “I can make space for both joy and grief.” Treat the holidays as an opportunity for reflection rather than a test of cheerfulness.
Stay connected. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist. You don’t have to navigate this season alone. And don’t hold others’ cheerfulness against them.
Final Thoughts
The anniversary effect doesn’t mean you’re “back at square one.” Healing isn’t erased just because old feelings resurface. Think of it more like a ripple, your nervous system acknowledging the weight of what you’ve carried.
When you know to expect it, you can meet yourself with compassion instead of confusion.
Ask yourself: What do I need around this time of year to feel supported?
And if you find this season especially heavy, therapy can be a safe space to process the echoes of your story and move forward with more ease.
Download Your Free Anniversary Effect Planner
Click the button below to open the Holiday Anniversary Effect Planner. You can save it to your own Google Drive or computer, edit it online to fill in your answers, or print it out and keep a paper copy handy. Use it as a gentle guide to plan ahead, track patterns, and build rituals that make the season more supportive.